syukur Alhamdulillah...dengan hasil usaha aku sem lepas...Tuhan makbulkan doa aku...ak ni xdelah bijak sangat...so klu dapat dean list...rasa sgtlah bersyukur...di sini bukan ak nak show off pasal result yg xseberapa ni....cuma ak merenung kembali peristiwa sem lepas...rupanya ada hikmah disebalik semua kejadian yg Tuhan buat...begitu juga diri aku...kadang2 apa yang kta rancang xsemestinya menjadi..Tuhan itu lebih tahu apa yang kta perlukan...
macam life ak....hampir 5tahun aku bercinta dengan seseorang...dah hampir nak berkahwin pun...tba2 hubungan itu putus di tengah jalan....aku xpernah salah kan si dia semua ni berlaku...malah aku salah kan diri sendiri...
terlalu lama dia tunggu ak habis belajar untuk kahwin dengan aku...umurnya pun makin hari bukn makin muda...makin tua adalah...tp nak camne ak xabis2 lg degree ak ni...insyaAllah aku grad bulan 9 ni...amin...kawang2 doakan sy juga ek...
setelah berfikir panjang...ak rs xpatut dia tggu aku lagi...dia lebih layak untuk perempuan yg lebih sempurna dr aku yang serba kekurangan...bukan pandai masak sgt pun...brutal pulak tu...cantik pun tidak...ayah ak dah confirm2 xkan bg aku kahwin masa blajar...mula2 emo gakla..pesal la org len senang je kawen ms blajar...ayh ak lak xbg kat ak...tapi...bla pikir sedalam-dalamnya...ayah aku lebih memahami diri aku dari aku sendiri....
- aku ni xbrapa matang lagi...ank bongsu katakan...nak urus diri sendiri pun xbrapa pandai cmner nak urus rumahtangga..
- yuran UTP ni mahal...kdg2 xcukup pun MARA bg kat aku...ayah aku kenalah tambah2 jugak...so klu ak kawen...mampu ke suami ak tanggung ak...dia pun br kerja...duit pun ckup2 makan...klu dah kawen xkan nak mintak duit mak bapak lagi...malula...
- dah kata final year...klu kat UTP kteorang ada FYDP n FYP...ni smua memang berjaga malamlah nak siapkan projek2 ni...kadang2 terpaksa meeting sampai lewat malam...stress jugakla....so klu aku dah jadi isteri orang...elok ke..ak duk meeting tgh2 malam...satu lagi leh ke aku bg masa untuk suami dan study???...aku xsehebat org len....susah kot nak bg masa...so msti suami aku terabai...sbb ak duk struggle ngan study ak...dia bukn blajar UTP ni....manelah die thu cmne stressnya blajar kat sini....camne sibuknya student2 UTP ni....mesti mrajuk 24 jam suami ak...klu ak kawen ms ni...
- yakin ke ak boleh focus blajr 100% bla dah kawen....susah tu bg aku...berkejar-kejaran aku...UTP ngan rumah...
5. yg plg akhir...org yg nak kawen ngan ak...btul2 faham ke perasaan aku...kesusahan aku kat UTP ni...dan yg plg utama...dia pernah faham ke life aku...ak rs suam2 kuku jer....
so dr situ aku decide untuk jadi single...aku xmahu org terseksa kerana ak...ak xkisah sape2 nak blame aku...macam lagu Akon...pernah dengar x???i take that blame from you...you can put the blame on me....you can put the blame on me...eventhough they blame on u...i'll take that blame from you...biarlah cinta kami jadi history...dia deserve yg lebih baek dr aku...dan aku juga berdoa agar aku diberi jodoh yg baek...amin...biarlah Tuhan saja mengerti perasaan aku...org len nak ckp ape...ak cuma tersenyum...
so Alhamdulillah...nampaknya Tuhan sudah tunjuk yg pilihan aku dalah yang terbaek untuk aku...blum masanya lagi untuk ak pk pasal jodoh...ape pun ak focus on my degree 1st...bler dah grad...lehla nak rancang ape pun...
pengalaman mengajar kita menjadi lebih dewasa....kadang2 yang pahit itu...lama2 ditelan...akan menjadi manis....
As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don't want to take responsibility for
I'm sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect
I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my son
I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I am so proud to call you my boy
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me [4x]
Said you can put the blame on me [3x]
You can put the blame on me
Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to doSorry that you had to go and sell those packs
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad
And you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though Pops treated us like kingsHe got a second wife and you didn't agree
He got up and left you there all alone
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm sorry that your son was once a thief
I'm sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would've listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry your life turned out this way
I'm sorry the FEDS came and took me away
I'm sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speakBut I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
Enter 21 you know the club they say
Why doesn't anybody wanna take blame
For rising back out disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame
Even though the blame's on you [3x]
I'll take that blame from you
And you can put that blame on me [2x]
You can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don't want to take responsibility for
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect
I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I am so proud to call you my boy
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me [4x]
Said you can put the blame on me [3x]
You can put the blame on me
Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to do
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad
And you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though Pops treated us like kings
He got up and left you there all alone
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would've listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry your life turned out this way
I'm sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
Enter 21 you know the club they say
Why doesn't anybody wanna take blame
For rising back out disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame
Even though the blame's on you [3x]
I'll take that blame from you
And you can put that blame on me [2x]
You can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me
sekian....
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